Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween Marriage

Credit YouTube for the Princess Bride excerpt. Link here if embed does not play.

The bride and I attended a Halloween-themed wedding on Saturday night. This, by far, was the simultaneously the oddest -and coolest wedding we have ever been to. The groom wore an all-gray outfit: a frock coat suit, tails, top hat, and long white hair wig. The bride wore a more-or-less white gown, white hat, and both the bride and groom had on ghoulish white pancake makeup. The officiant at the ceremony was the Grim Reaper.

You get the idea. Knowing this couple, who have been together a number of years, the venue fit perfectly.

The ceremony and reception were in a barn that is outfitted for 3-season parties. Unfortunately, Saturday was when the mid-Atlantic states got nailed with a freak October snowstorm (some 5" locally of perfect snowball--or snowman--snow!) and temps in the 30s. So the barn was COLD. Literally, I shivered, for the first time in years. You could see your breath the whole evening.

The only solution was to dance, and dance hard. To keep warm, you see. So the dance floor was a very popular place.

All of which causes me to focus on the bride. My bride, actually, and a retrospective of our marriage. So this post is dedicated to the bride.

We've been married a lot of years. So as I mull over that fact, it's fair to say that our marital longevity is a combination of having made a compatible partner choice, plus we continue to get most things right.

Which brings to mind a couple of relationship quotes that pretty much sum up where we're at and why our marriage is successful (these from a USA Today article 26 April 2011):

"Don't stop doing the things that helped you fall in love, that made the relationship fun to begin with--the play, the intellectual exchange, the adventure. It's very important to protect the couple you began as."-Pepper Schwartz, sociologist, UW-Seattle

"Have a policy of pre-emptive forgiveness. Refuse to get offended by petty things. Make a decision early on to cut the other person some slack in everyday life. Then you can take comfort in knowing they'll do it for you, as well. Accepting each other, flaws and all, is what love is all about."-Gaelen Foley, author of My Irresistible Earl

Believe me--and I would have argued vehemently against this proposition when I was in my 20s--there are some things that only life experience can show you. These are a couple of those things. If me pointing them out helps you to absorb those lessons a tad earlier than otherwise, there's no need to thank me.

Danny and Mishi: take heed, and all the best to you as you begin your marriage!

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