Another Gold Rush Prayer

Image credit Discovery Channel

I have a love-hate  (but mostly hate) relationship to the TV show Gold Rush.  I most recently posted about it here, wherein I am incredulous about the shameless manner in which the otherwise kindly old Grandfather Jack cravenly prays for gold, with the following prayer:

Heavenly Father,

We ask that the gold will just pop out of the ground.

Lord that you would show us the good spots.

Bless us and we pray it in your name.

Amen.

Well, in the episode that aired a week ago (2 January 2014, Episode 11 of Season 5), Grandfather Jack is praying away yet again.  See, in a classic case of cutting corners, the dirt road--over which the rock truck drivers had to haul the gravel to feed the wash plant--was built too narrowly, and was posing a hazard to the drivers.

In addition, the hauling operation was undersized (i.e., needing more trucks for more throughput).  Thus in addition to driving on a poorly designed and unsafe road, the hapless drivers were expected to go balls-to-the-wall to get the pay dirt from the load point to the wash plant FAST...lest the wash plant would be running at less than full capacity.

After a near sideswipe on the too-narrow road, the drivers rightfully complained.  Unsurprisingly, the Hoffman crew management didn't even listen, basically telling them to stop being such babies.  Finally, after the drivers threatened to walk off the job, one of the bosses, Dave, took a good look at the situation (of expecting too much throughput over a shitty pipeline) and saw the light.   Perhaps God opened Dave's eyes to the problem?

At any rate, with the road improved and operations resumed, Grandfather Jack offered another prayer:

Lord,

Give our rock truck drivers safety and help them to speedily get back to the plant.

Lord, help the plant to just gobble it up and put the gold in the box here.

Amen.

I like the part where Jack helpfully directs the Supreme Being as to where to deposit the gold.

God's Answer to the Gold Rush Crew

Last week I posted about the Discovery Channel show Gold Rush.  In that post I was disgusted that the mining crew would shamelessly pray to God for the success of their mining operations, thusly:

Heavenly Father,

We ask that the gold will just pop out of the ground.

Lord that you would show us the good spots.

Bless us and we pray it in your name.

Amen.

I just looked ahead to upcoming episodes and see that the Discovery producers will close the loop.  This is Comcast's recap of the future episode in which God reacts:

In a move that surprised even Himself, God grants Jack's prayer that "the gold will just pop out of the ground."  All over the Hoffman crew's claim, gold has mysteriously risen to the surface and is just lying on the top of the ground.  They simply pick it up, and without even needing to use mining equipment and processes, are rich beyond their wildest dreams.

And as it that wasn't enough, God personally appears, wearing mining clothes so He won't get muddy, and guides Jack to where the "good spots" are.

Oh, and then blesses all the crew. 

Amen, I guess.

Miracle at Milepost 93

Yesterday I took a long run on the C+O Canal towpath.  Starting from Williamsport, MD, I first navigated some 10 miles of roads, then intersected the Canal at Dam # 4 (Milepost 84).  From there I ran upstream to investigate the section of towpath that was repaired and opened in 2012.

I had my camera along, but kept getting bogged down with stopping for shots.  There were just too many interesting things to shoot: canal historical artifacts, flowers, critters.  I finally got a running rhythm going and told myself that unless God himself came down and appeared to me right there on the Canal, I was going to park the camera and keep on running.

Well, a very short distance later I encountered this black racer snake.  God, being omniscient, must have known that seeing this critter would of course cause me to stop and take some photos.  Ergo, this snake must have been God incarnate.

[Photo of God...all photos by Gary]

 

 

I'm thinking about reporting this occurrence to the Vatican.  I seem to recall recently where the new Pope created a lot of saints and recognized a number of miracles.

 

Here's why I LOVE running on the Canal:

 

A typical scene

 

 

The newly opened section Milepost 84-88

 

 

More tomorrow....

 

 

Over by The God School, Steer With a Toothache...and Ultrarunning

Tuesday when the bride dropped me off on her way to work and I ran home, I decided to take the road past what I call The God School.  I forget the actual name of the school, but it's a small Mennonite school, say with about 4 classrooms.  Many of the local Mennonites--perhaps most--do not send their kids to public school.  So The God School is one of their education sites (I know, me being slightly disrespectful here is probable cause for banishment to hell).

But the point of this post isn't The God School.  It's what's right beside The God School: a cow pasture.  The farmer is pasturing a bunch of steers (beef cattle) there.  I don't know my cattle breeds very well; perhaps these are Black Angus because these steers are almost totally black in color, save for some small white patches on a few individuals.

Except for the one steer with the odd, extensive white coloration on his head.  This guy has a white chin, white extending back along both jawlines, black cheeks and face, then white across the top of his head between his ears.  The rest of him is all black.

From a distance, I swore the animal was wearing a bandage wrapped around his head as though he had a toothache (like in old movies).  Alternatively I thought he could have had a forehead injury, bandaged, with a securing wrap down around the chin to keep it in place.  When I got closer I saw that it was natural, and not a bandage.

I didn't have my camera but I may pack it next time, as this critter was very strikingly colored.

Oh, and the link to Ultrarunning?  Nothing direct...just the notion that every run, however mundane, presents opportunities to learn, to be amazed by our world, to be caused to smile.  And runs in the backcountry are especially rich in potential for wonder.

C+O Canal Theology: Proof of the Non-Existence of God

As I ran on the C+O Canal the other day, I was reminded of a theological thought.  See, Ultrarunning is very conducive to long, deep thinking triggered by the happy convergence of mental stimulation, physical stimulation, and sheer time to ponder.

My old good friend Marvin from St. Louis used to say that tooth decay was sufficient proof that there was no God.

To Marvin's argument I add the photographic proof below: a poison ivy vine, thicker than my arm, growing on a silver maple tree along the C+O Canal.  The muddy Potomac River oozes by in the background.

[photo by Gary]

If you have ever had a bad case of poison ivy (or for our Western Ultrarunning compadres, poison oak), you know there is nothing to compare with that special kind of torment.  Imagine thousands of mosquito bites, all erupting in weeping pustules (man, I love that word!), all over your body.

If these two examples don't blow the "loving God" theory clean out of the water, I don't know what would.

Of course, your theological mileage may vary.

 

Praying to Cats

Amanda at Pandagon recently had a cute post about why it makes more sense to pray to cats than to gods.  I tried to cull out a couple from the list to highlight, but they're all good, so here's her list in its entirety:

Ten Reasons to Pray to Cats Instead of Gods

1) Cats are real.

2) Because of this, cats have a marginally better chance of answering your prayers than gods do. For instance, if you pray specifically for purring or for someone to scratch your furniture, your cats can probably get that done for you. Not much else, of course, but something is better than nothing.

3) As my buddy Ross said, "Plus, the cuddling and the purring. They actually deliver on the promise of temporal comfort." Science proves him right!

4) Cats may pee on your bed, but they're not going to send you to hell for all eternity.

5) You'll be able to see with your own eyes that the cats appreciate your prayers, whereas gods tend to be notoriously silent with the gratitude.

6) Cat offspring. God offspring. 'nuff said.

7) By praying to cats, you run no chance of praying to the same thing at the same time as that putrid douchebag Ross Douthat, who used Hitchens' death to write this horrible sentence: "My hope - for Hitchens, and for all of us, the living and the dead - is that now he finally knows why." The "why" in this case is why Christians believe---Douthat studiously ignores other religions making competing claims with his. But since Christians like Douthat believe that non-believers are going to hell, he basically just wished Hitchens was in hell. Maybe he's too stupid to grasp that, or maybe he thinks that you can sin against his god, but he'll let you in anyway so long as you showed proper contempt for women and Muslims. Who fucking knows? Either way, by praying to cats, you have nothing to do with that kind of mindless cruelty remade into "morality" by public displays of piety.

8) Sure, cats enjoy murdering smaller creatures, but they eventually eat them, making good use of the proteins within. If you pray to gods, you have to believe that they make people suffer for no good reason whatsoever.

9) People who may not like cats or who prefer dogs may argue with you about aiming your prayers at cats, but they're unlikely to start a holy war.

10) Cats have never, as far as I know, been used to rationalize denying women reproductive control of their bodies, trapping women in the domestic sphere, or denying gay people their rights. Unlike many gods conjured by humans, cats have no opinion on what you wear, and certainly won't smite you for going about with your hair or your knees uncovered.

I'm partial to 4, 9 and 10.  Oh, and the link to Ultrarunning?   I've said it many times here: Ultrarunners as a demographic are more laid back and sensible than the rest of the population at large.  Cats are right up our alley as far as deification goes.

 

Tales from the Perimeter: Survivor

Perimeter meaning the 6 mile patrol road inside the fence of the military installation on which I work, where some half a dozen of us comprise a pool of running “talent” and strive to show up for a noontime run a couple times a week if we can escape our desks. We share a lot and these guys are one of the core pillars of my sanity.

During yesterday's run we had a full quorum of our group, save for KK,  who is still rehabbing a surgically repaired knee (a non-running injury).  The majority of our group avidly follows both The Amazing Race and Survivor, and the conversation as we navigated the perimeter turned to Survivor.

In this week's episode, Coach's team prayed as a group prior to the day's challenge--which they won--and immediately afterwards, Coach bade them to get down on their knees...to thank God for the positive result. 

Oh, and Ozzy committed to a poorly-thought-out scheme whereby he volunteered to be voted out so he could go to Redemption Island so he could defeat the unlikeable incumbent castaway Christine so he could reemerge into the game triumphant after the merge so he could sail on towards the $1M so he could have pulled of the boldest stroke EVEH in the game so he could have immortalized himself forever in Survivor lore.

I was appalled. Nope, not the Ozzy strategy stuff, interesting as that will be as it plays out. Rather, what shocked and astonished me was the shameless invoking of God to favor a particular team...and thanking him afterwards for the positive results, as though God gave a sh*t about it.

Talk about peer pressure.  If one of the team were, say, an atheist or a Buddhist, and wouldn't go along with the prayer circle stuff ("I'll just stand over here while you guys pray", and said so...methinks that player would be voted out ASAP to retain the purity of the team.  Inquisition, anyone?

PH, our non-Survivor-watcher, but who is our most religious member, commented that they were engaging in transactional prayer.  That is, praying for a specific result for which there would be a reciprocation from the supplicant should the wish be granted.  Example: "Dear God, please let our team win 'cause if we win I will become a better Christian, I swear I will."

Transactional prayer, in theology, is thought to be pretty much a juvenile approach, analogous to treating God as though he were Santa Claus. PH believes that the goal of prayer should be to achieve understanding and to create a close relationship with God, NOT to ask for specific favors.

So it'll be all the sweeter when Coach and his band of religious thugs go down hard.  Then it'll be interesting to see how they explain why God changed his mind.

 

Diety, Sports...Ultrarunning

Among my running group, a link recently made for some conversation.  Seems that on the religious front, a high school football player was recently flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct for pointing heavenward after a touchdown.

We debated for a couple of miles around the perimeter whether it's OK for a religious person to publicly demonstrate said religiosity.  We reached no consensus.

My tongue-in-cheek comment after all was said and done was this: most people would focus narrowly on the after-action reverent display. I think the true "unsportsmanlike" part would be the advantage accruing from invoking deity for yours or your team's benefit (translated: unfair to have God on your side...after all, the omnipotence thing, you know).

I can say that I have not personally witnessed any such demonstrations at any of the ultra finish lines I have crossed.  But I'd be OK with it--different strokes for different folks, and so on....

The Chilean Miners...an Alternative Explanation

The entire world is cheering over the successful rescue of the Chilean miners.  I could not watch the rescue with a dry eye--it was quite emotional and uplifting. 

PZ Myers, over at the science blog Pharyngula, had an interesting post a couple days before the rescue:

We've all heard about the Chilean miners trapped in a cave-in, who have been sustained for over two months by supplies delivered through a narrow tunnel drilled down to them. Their rescue is imminent, with an escape tunnel being drilled and almost at their position — they should be out this week. Personally, I credit technology with saving them, but…three religious groups are squabbling over which version of god deserves thanks.

The three Christian denominations have each claimed credit for what they say is divine intervention in the survival - and expected imminent rescue - of the 33 men who have spent 67 days beneath the earth.

You know, the drill hasn't quite reached the miners. Maybe we should just shut down the machinery, withdraw all the tools and the laborers, and have Mr Diaz, Mr Quintana, and Mr Soto stand above the men and use their magic to complete the rescue. That would be impressive.

I'd also like to see the three frauds step forward and take the blame for all mining deaths, as well.

PZ doesn't pull any punches...that's probably why I like reading him so.  There's a place for spirituality and a place for technology, and the two should not be confused.

Kinda reminds me of an incident some years ago where our daughter was attending a Christian horseback camp in August.  We had had quite a drought here in southern Pennsylvania that summer, which had just been alleviated by soaking rains from the remnants of an east-coast hurricane. 

The leader of the camp offered an invocation in which she thanked God for sending the rains...oblivious to the fact that a couple days before, a dozen people had drowned in North Carolina from those very same rains.

I believe that spirituality has its place.  But I think the weather is just the weather, with no need for any divine steering of the rain clouds.  As for the miners, they were the victims of a cave-in that was triggered by simple physics.  I do believe that their spiritual beliefs comforted them and thereby probably aided their survival in the mine over those couple months of being trapped. 

But I agree with Dr. Myers--they were saved by technology.

 

Tales From the Perimeter: When Did God Become a Sports Fan?

Perimeter meaning the 6 mile patrol road inside the fence of the military installation on which I work, where some half a dozen of us comprise a pool of running “talent” and strive to show up for a noontime run a couple times a week if we can escape our desks. We share a lot and these guys are one of the core pillars of my sanity.

This is a great link. The money quote for me was this:

Athletes who publicly thank God for victory are often calling more attention to themselves than their faith, says William J. Baker, author of "Playing with God." They are selling their goodness, and their brand of faith, to a captive audience, says Baker, who describes himself as a Christian. "I don't think it's the right place and it's not the right gesture," says Baker, a former high school quarterback. "It's an athlete using a moment to sell a product, like soap."

When we discussed this during our perimeter run the other day, somebody asked:

Do you think that Jack "Thanked God" after his round of 75 at the Rich Valley golf course last weekend?
 

 

Susan B. Anthony Had it Right

Offered without comment...it stands completely on its own.

From Tennessee Guerrilla Women, 18 May 2010, here.

Tales from The Perimeter: When Did God Become a Sports fan?

Perimeter meaning the 6 mile patrol road inside the fence of the military installation on which I work, where some half a dozen of us comprise a pool of running “talent” and strive to show up for a noontime run a couple times a week if we can escape our desks. We share a lot and these guys are one of the core pillars of my sanity. See also here for a previous post.


Email exchange below (reads down) is typical of what we talk about before, during, and after our runs around the perimeter. This one centered upon athletes publicly thanking God after a sports success.

-----Original Message-----

From: xxxxx
Sent: xxxxx
To: xxxxx

Subject: Run discussion...

Here is Jack's favorite topic:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/05/25/God.sports/index.html?hpt

-----Original Message-----

From: xxxxx
Sent: xxxxx
To: xxxxx

Subject: RE: Run discussion...

Do you think that Jack "Thanked God" after his round of 75 at the Rich Valley golf course last weekend?

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxx
Sent: xxxxx
To: xxxxx
Subject: RE: Run discussion...

Great link. The money quote for me was this:

Athletes who publicly thank God for victory are often calling more attention to themselves than their faith, says William J. Baker, author of "Playing with God." They are selling their goodness, and their brand of faith, to a captive audience, says Baker, who describes himself as a Christian. "I don't think it's the right place and it's not the right gesture," says Baker, a former high school quarterback. "It's an athlete using a moment to sell a product, like soap."

Body Work

When I run to or from the garage where I get my cars worked on, I pass an auto body business. I am always amused by the large sign they have painted--visible from Interstate 81--which reads:

Todd Auto Body Inc.
Serving You and the Lord

I didn’t realize that God would have much of a need for auto body work.

Galileo Had It Right

Image credit here.

Galileo had it right 500 years ago--literal interpretations of the Bible are risky.  Moreover, possibly or probably not what God would have wanted.  From The Writer's Almanac for April 12, 2010:

It was on this day [12 April] in 1633 that Galileo Galilei stood trial before the Roman Inquisition, to defend the publication of his book Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems (1632).

Galileo did become interested in the theory of the universe expressed by Copernicus, and then he discovered something that he thought would prove the theory beyond question: the telescope. A Dutch eyeglass maker is credited with inventing it in 1608, and as soon as he heard about it, Galileo set one up himself, and became the first person to use it to observe the sky. He deduced that the moon was illuminated by a reflection of the sun on the Earth, he saw that Jupiter was orbited by moons, and he studied Venus and realized that the only explanation for its changing phases was that it orbited the sun. He thought that, finally, no one could disagree that the planets orbited the sun, so he started talking openly about his ideas. He wrote and lectured for the educated public, figuring that they were a more receptive audience than scholars.

But of course people did disagree: The Church claimed it was at odds with the Bible, particularly a verse in the Book of Joshua that describes God stopping the sun in the sky, and one in Psalms that says Earth was put on its foundations and would not move. Galileo responded publicly by explaining that the truth of the Bible was not always literal, that it used metaphorical imagery.

Bolding that follows is mine:

He wrote: "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with senses, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use and by some other means to give us knowledge which we can attain by them. He would not require us to deny sense and reason in physical matters which are set before our eyes and minds by direct experience or necessary demonstrations."

Eventually, he was allowed to return home under house arrest, where he became blind a few years later, and died in 1642. In 1718, the Church lifted its ban on Galileo's work, with the exception of the Dialogues, which was banned until 1822.

 I think Galileo and I would have hit it off.

Tales from the Perimeter: God Made Her Barren

Perimeter meaning the 6 mile patrol road inside the fence of the military installation on which I work, where some half a dozen of us comprise a pool of running “talent” and strive to show up for a noontime run a couple times a week if we can escape our desks. We share a lot and these guys are one of the core pillars of my sanity.

One of our group, CH, is a pretty religious guy. Not in-your-face preachy, but rather one who tries to take and live his Christianity seriously. For example, in the course of routine conversation, CH will frequently make allusions to God and make mention of God’s place in his life. It’s something that the rest of the running group knows about CH and accepts as a component of his personality.


One day on the perimeter in our 2nd mile, our conversation drifted to the sexuality of our children, in the context of unintended pregnancies, which has unexpectedly resulted in at least 3 pregancies and caused at least two of our group to become grandfathers.


Now, CH can really tell a story, and was mentioning an old girlfriend from high school and college, with whom he had had a sexual liaison for several years prior to settling down and marrying (someone else). CH observed, “Yeah, when I think of all that unprotected sex we had, God must have really been looking out for us to keep her from getting pregnant because we really were not ready to be parents.  It would have really messed up our plans.”

Then he observed quietly, “She and I still keep in touch, and you know, she never did have kids.”

KK then jumped right in, “God must have made her barren to keep you from ruining your military career.”