Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Chuck Norris

(Photo credit http://www.chucknorris.com/html/shopping4.html)

(Note: will hold off on additional Umstead 100 Mile Endurance Run posting until official reuslts are on the race web site.  In the meanwhile, enjoy the humor!)

Now I know that Chuck Norris is no longer a Hollywood A-List actor, commanding huge fees for every movie.  But I do confess that I do enjoy reruns of his action flicks from the 80s and 90s (this despite my dislike of his politics).

That said, for some reason, the 8th grade kid I am mentoring is really big on Chuck Norris at the moment.  I have no idea why, and if all this was big several years ago, I completely missed it.  Mentee showed me a Chuck Norris humor site (actually there are numerous such sites, due, I suppose, to many poor souls not having lives). If you are interested, just go Google.

Here are some of the quotes that really tickled me.  My fav is the one about revolving doors.  Better not be drinking anything, it may spray out your nose.

--When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

--Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus' birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

--Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.

--Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

--Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford Dictionary will simply change the actual spelling of it.

--In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

--Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

--Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

--After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

--If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down.

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